sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
