its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
