I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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