brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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