shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
