I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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