Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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