we have pet lesbian snakes
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
