you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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