cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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