i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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