as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
