i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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