I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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