Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
