She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sorry my hands just texted you
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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