My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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