Your tits are I can't wait for
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
try to milk me bitch
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize