youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
