Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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