you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
