So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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