you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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