carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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