Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
