My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
