Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
