I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Do vagina's smell?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
