my room smells like sperm. sweet.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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