Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
