No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
