how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
