what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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