I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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