tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
