Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
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I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
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do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize