Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
