I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just found a bag of teeth...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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