You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dignity is for republicans.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
