the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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