An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
