is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
