I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
