Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
two words...techno handjob
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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