I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
