I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
