So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Panties = found
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
