Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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