You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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