i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
