i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Randomize
