im holly from the hills drunk
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
