I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
