And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
