so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
