it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
