bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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