Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
