It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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