Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
