im gay
i know
yea but for you.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Come share oat with me in your robe
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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