How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
