Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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