Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I licked your asshole in confidence.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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