Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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