hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize