i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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