white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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