Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
